I don’t know about you, but for me 2019 has been amazing, this has been that year that has pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and pursue excellence. It has also had its challenges, but this challenges have been blessings in disguise as I managed to derive so many lessons from them.
The following are some of the things that have shaped 2019 for me, both positive and negative;
Getting to know myself
Sometime we spend so much time with friends, on social media, church, with our parents, teacher and co-workers, and we never spend time alone with ourselves, with our thoughts. It’s like we fear the silence of existence, we dread boredom and instead choose aimless distraction, and we can’t help but run from the problems of our emotions into the false comforts of the mind.
I think that Without knowing ourselves, it’s almost impossible to find a healthy way to interact with the world around us. Without taking time to figure it out, we don’t have a foundation to build the rest of our lives on.
So this year I was not afraid of spending some time alone and battling through the thoughts that were running in mind, thinking through things clearly and by this I was able to know what kind of person I really was, I got to understand some of the weaknesses that have been puling me back. Some of the other side effects of spending some time alone was an “increased self and social awareness, clarity, problem solving, empathy for self and others, peace, calm and safety,
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
― Blaise Pascal
Quit alcohol back in 2018
One of the thing that I realized about myself was that I am a very social person, and I would spend a lot of time with different friends, and all the time we spent with pal’s alcohol was involved. Most of you can relate with that phase in life when you have those friends whom when you invite them over, the first question they ask is “Kuna mzinga” ….
Well I decided to quit alcohol, I particularly didn’t have a reason at first, I decided to do it as an experiment, bollocks!! who am I cheating? I actually have a reason, I think I decided to stop drinking because it made me so unfocused in life, I started having this conversation from way back in 2015 but I never managed to stop drinking.
In 2018 I started pole pole and now in 2019 I have never touched and tasted alcohol so far ‘’tebu clap for me guys”. Now I feel more focused than ever. I think this is one of the proudest thing that I am really proud for in 2019.
Of course I still have people who are always asking me why I don’t drink alcohol… the other day I was joking and saying I will start telling them that I am not drinking because I am pregnant … hahahaha funy right ????
Quitting my Job
Well I used to hear stories of people quitting their jobs and I never understood, like how would you wake up one day and resign from your job when you don’t clearly don’t have a plan B? and the way there is a high level of unemployment in Kenya!! Well sometimes you have to go through things to fully understand, so this year I quit a job that I actually loved.
I think I felt so empowered and peaceful afterwards, of course I didn’t have a plan B. I have my own reasons why I quit but most importantly my mental peace was the top reason that propelled me in that decision.
Afterwards I attended more than 10 interviews, I read a lot of books on interviews and listened to a lot of speakers via you tube on how to get jobs and ace interviews. I never gave up … after every rejection I still applied for more job, through this I got 3 jobs and settled for one that I am still working for.
I now love my job, I am more patient and resilient, I feel more mature and all grown up than I have felt before,I know 2020 is going to be great and I am going to make so many milestone career wise.
Joined the GYM
I started lifting weights seriously in 2019, yes!! I have been lifting weights but it has not been as serious and consistent. I think every man should lift weights, the discipline and pushing your body to its limits is immense, I gained around 6kgs by July, I was really buffed and I felt good. I however slacked from August, and haven’t been as consistent, I hope 2020 I will consistently hit the gym.
Woooh !!! where do I even start from … I think I have never been a relationship type of guy, Like any milenial I always took relationships for granted. Someone once told me that ‘’ Elvis you think you are so tough hearted, one day you will meet a woman and you will go soft like you have never done. You will start doing the lovey dovey stuff you used to look down on…”… he was so on point !! I guess like with all matters of the heart you will know when you find that one person.. .and when I met her i felt like this was it..
She is very beautiful, kind and loving. She has that smile that melts my heart each time she smiles back at me … It has not been easy though,what I realized about relationship and dating is that you have to work on them. She is very private and I also like that about her, especially in this world of social media where we want to over share stuff..
She can cook, damn! they say that to get through to a man’s heart is through his stomach and she has done a good job at that, she has introduced me to proper biryani, pilau and other Swahili dishes.
And most importantly I have learnt a lot of things from her and I bet she has learnt a few things from me as well
Nowadays everyone is self-absorbed in themselves, people are slowly embracing nihilism and no one cares about the next person.
I am glad I found someone who genuinely cares and I hope 2020 will be more fun, loving and generally wholesome
Centonomy and financial planning
Joining Centonomy financial planning programme was a blessing to me, I think am an extravagant person by nature and during the past few years I have made not so wise decisions when it comes to Money, I have bought things I never actually needed to please people who don’t care and I actually came to the realization that most of the impulse decisions we make in regards to money are usually not good.
The Centonomy programme helped me to start budgeting for my money, planning and saving as well. I remember our first class we were told to start tracking our expenses and I was surprised that most of my money went to things that did not matter.
I have now joined a chamaa and it has been amazing … Well am not there financially but baby steps tu, I know 2020 will be better. .
This year I have read more than 20 books, I intended to read 50 books this year but I did not hit the target, I hope next year I shall achieve that target. My top 6 books this year that have really positively impacted my life are as follows
- The bigger deal by sunny Bindra
- Everything is fucked by Mark Manson
- When breath becomes air by Paul Kalanithi
- Arsene Wenger by John Cross
- Alex Ferguson my autobiography
- Men without women by Haruki Murakami
I think have always been good at writing, I remember I used to write amazing composition back in high school, I have always procrastinated about starting a blog and eventually 2019 I decided to just start, well my articles have a lot of grammatical errors but I just derive so much pleasure from my writing and I know as time goes by I will keep on improving.
I hope 2020 I will keep on the consistency in writing positive articles that will possibly change lives and impact people positively who knows where this writing will take me.
The loss of my grandfather has been the most negative thing that has ever happened to me this year, He was very wise and would advise me on a lot of things about life, one things that he passed to me was his work ethic. Also his ability to remain calm even when under a lot of pressure and leadership abilities. May he rest in peace.
I also lost 3 friends sadly and this brought the point home that life is short regardless of the number of years. And the small things you get so worked up about are really meaningless when you look at the bigger picture.
Life can be taken away from you in less than a second and it makes you loosen your grip on life and stop wasting so much time trying to control everything or get so disappointed if it doesn’t go your way. Life is impermanent and so is control.
I hope to only love more. listen more. grow. write more. to run toward getting right when I am wrong. to forgive more. to dream more. more risk taking, fearlessness vs comfortability, more joy vs happiness and to live more without fear of judgement.